What Should You Ask a Divorce Lawyer in the First Meeting?

Just as making the decision to divorce is difficult, knowing how to carry out this process with a lawyer also challenges a person. When one goes to the first meeting unprepared, the conversation scatters, important details are forgotten, and the lawyer’s ability to make a sound assessment of the file is delayed. Yet preparing a few documents and noting down a few concrete questions before the meeting makes that meeting far more productive.

In this article we do not focus on the question of "how to choose a lawyer," but on how the first meeting should go once the choice has been made. Which documents should be brought, which questions should be asked in the meeting and what should be done after the meeting; we address these in a practical order.

What Should Be Prepared Before the First Meeting?

Gathering the documents you have in a single folder before going to the meeting makes it easier for the lawyer to grasp the situation at first glance. A photocopy of your identity document, the marriage certificate or a population registry extract are among the first of these documents. If the other party has already filed a lawsuit or a notification has arrived, the original or a photocopy of this document must certainly be kept at hand. A document showing your income situation (a payslip, an SGK record) is also useful for the assessment of alimony and compensation.

If there are children, a birth certificate and, if any, a previous decision concerning custody should also be prepared. In addition, drawing up a rough list of the significant assets acquired during the marriage (home, vehicle, bank accounts) speeds up the discussion of the division of matrimonial property. None of these documents has to be complete; you can go with whatever you have, and the missing items are clarified during the meeting.

Another useful step during preparation is to draw up a short timeline of the important events experienced throughout the marriage. Noting down in chronological order such points as when separation came onto the agenda, when situations such as violence or economic coercion, if any, occurred, and how the children were affected in this process reduces the loss of time in the meeting. These notes need not be long and literary; a plain list of a few items is generally sufficient.

What Should Be Brought to the Meeting Regarding the Children?

If there are children, it is useful to bring to the meeting the child’s birth certificate, school information if any, and notes on their state of health. Information such as which parent the child spends more time with and how their daily routine works helps the lawyer to offer a realistic suggestion on custody and the personal-relationship arrangement. It is important that this information is conveyed as it is, without exaggeration.

The child’s age and school situation directly affect how the personal-relationship schedule can be set up. For example, how the weekday and weekend arrangement can be planned for a child attending school, and how sharing between the parents can be arranged during holiday periods, are concrete matters that can be asked about in the meeting. These questions ensure that not only the legal but also the practical dimension of the custody request is discussed.

Which Documents Should You Bring to the Meeting?

In practice, lawyers generally want at least some of the following documents to be brought to the meeting. Even if not all of the documents are available, one can start with those on hand; what matters is that the documents at hand are brought in an orderly folder rather than in a scattered form.

• Identity document and population registry extract. Up-to-date documents showing the identity details of the parties and, if any, the children.
• Marriage certificate or marriage registry extract. It confirms the marriage date and the official status.
• Notification or statement of claim (if any). If the other party has filed a lawsuit, it is important for time-limited proceedings.
• Income document. A payslip, an SGK service record or documents showing self-employment income.
• Records regarding assets. Photocopies or a list of documents such as title deeds, vehicle registration and bank account statements.
• Previous court decisions, if any. A decision previously given concerning separation, alimony or custody.
• Communication and correspondence records. A summary of messaging, e-mails or notes relevant to the matter.

How Should You Ask About the Likely Process of the File?

The most critical part of the meeting is asking what course the file may follow. The question "what is the likely process regarding my file?" draws a general framework; however, it is more useful to make this question concrete. Whether an uncontested (anlaşmalı) or a contested (çekişmeli) path will be followed, at which courthouse the file will be heard, and roughly when the first hearing might be scheduled can be asked separately.

Regarding the estimated duration of the process, rather than expecting a precise date, trying to understand what factors affect the timeline is a more realistic approach. Elements such as the number of witnesses, the need for an expert witness and the attitude of the other party directly affect the duration. The lawyer’s explaining these factors clearly enables expectations to be built more soundly.

How Should You Ask How the Fees Will Work?

It is natural for the matter of fees to become clear not at the beginning of the meeting but after the summary of the file has been shared, because the workload of uncontested and contested processes differs. Nevertheless, during the meeting one should not hesitate to ask direct questions such as "how will the fees work, which items are included and which are charged separately."

Discussing clearly such points as whether the attorney’s fee will be paid in advance or divided into stages, whether court fees and expenses are included in this fee, and whether the appeal (istinaf) or cassation (temyiz) stage is subject to a separate fee prevents uncertainties that may arise in the coming months. In practice, it is preferred that these details be confirmed by a written offer or a contract.

How Should You Ask Which Additional Documents Should Be Prepared?

Although the documents brought to the first meeting are generally sufficient for a start, additional documents may be needed at later stages of the file. Asking at the end of the meeting "which documents should I prepare from now on" clarifies the next step. For example, if the division of matrimonial property is on the agenda, title-deed records and bank transaction statements; if custody is on the agenda, the child’s school and health information may be requested.

The date by which these documents must be prepared should also be asked. A plan that sets a deadline allows both the lawyer to advance the file on time and the client to organise their preparation accordingly. Rather than a vague answer of "you can prepare them later," requesting a concrete framework makes it easier to follow the process.

Obtaining some documents may take time; for example, a bank transaction statement or a title-deed record may need to be requested from official institutions. Asking in the meeting where and how such documents can be obtained prevents the client from applying to several institutions unnecessarily. The lawyer’s providing guiding information on this matter shortens the preparation process.

How Should the Account Be Structured During the Meeting?

When going to the meeting, recounting the events in chronological order, giving dates, enables the lawyer to grasp the file more quickly. It is useful to follow a flow starting from the marriage date, moving to when the decision to separate or the problems arose, and, if there are children, to the expectations regarding custody. Focusing on concrete events and dates rather than going into emotional details helps the legal assessment to be made more accurately.

Noting down the questions that come to mind during the account and asking them in order at the end of the meeting prevents an important point from being skipped. Going with a short list of a few questions written in advance on a mobile phone or on paper prevents some questions from being forgotten in the excitement.

During the meeting one should also answer the questions the lawyer asks as openly as possible. Some clients hesitate to share details that might place them in a difficult position; however, an event recounted incompletely or one-sidedly may lead the lawyer to assess the file incorrectly. In practice, it should not be forgotten that every piece of information told to the lawyer is protected within the scope of professional secrecy, and the process should be built on this relationship of trust.

What Should Be the First Step After the Meeting?

After the meeting ends, it is useful to draw up a summary of what was discussed. Which documents will be completed by when, when the next meeting or proceeding will take place, and under what conditions the fee arrangement will apply should be noted down in writing. These notes both help the client to track where they are in the process and reduce the confusion that may arise at later stages.

If a decision to grant a power of attorney has been made at the end of the meeting, how the power of attorney will be drawn up at the notary and which documents are needed at this stage should also be asked. Once the power of attorney has been issued, the official follow-up of the file begins, and the subsequent steps are planned together with the lawyer.

Some clients wish to think it over rather than deciding immediately after the meeting; this is an entirely ordinary approach. In practice, a hasty decision is not imposed, and the client is given time to think. However, in situations where a legal period such as a notification period is running, the clear statement in the meeting of when this period will expire ensures that the decision is made in time.

Which Questions Are Frequently Skipped in the First Meeting?

In practice there are some questions that clients often skip. One of these is how and how frequently developments regarding the file will be conveyed to them. If it is clarified from the outset whether the information will be given by telephone, in writing or through meetings, no uncertainty is experienced in communication.

Another skipped topic is whether direct contact can be established with the other party. How meetings held with the other party after the lawsuit process has started may reflect on the file, and on which matters direct contact should not be made, should be asked in the meeting. Clarifying this point from the outset prevents mistakes that could unintentionally be made at later stages.

• By whom will the file be followed. Will the lawyer who held the meeting or someone else in the office attend the hearings.
• How will contact be made in emergencies. What will the communication channel be in urgent matters such as a request for interim measures.
• How will offers coming from the other party be evaluated. How will the process work when an intermediate settlement offer arrives.
• Is attendance at hearings mandatory. At which stages will it be necessary to be present in court in person.

Although these questions may seem like small details, they minimise the communication problems that may arise in the coming months of the process. As Av. Aydın, in the first meetings held at our office in Konak/İzmir, we take care to set aside sufficient time so that clients can comfortably ask these kinds of practical questions.

When Should the Second Meeting Be Planned?

Every matter should not be expected to become fully clear in the first meeting; some points take shape after the documents have been examined or after the attitude of the other party has become clear. For this reason, the question "when and to clarify which matters will we hold our next meeting" is a practical question that makes it easier to follow the process. In this way the client knows in advance when the file will move to the next stage.

The agenda of the second meeting is generally the completion of the documents left missing in the first meeting, the evaluation of the response received from the other party, or the review of the final version of the statement of claim. Determining this agenda from the outset also allows the client to organise their preparation accordingly; when the purpose of each meeting is clear, the process advances in a more orderly manner.

How Should the Appointment for the Meeting Be Planned?

When requesting an appointment, asking in advance roughly how long the meeting will last and which documents should be kept at hand ensures both that the client comes prepared and that the meeting is productive. Briefly summarising the matter during the first contact by telephone also allows the lawyer to come to the meeting better prepared.

Whether the meeting can be held face to face, or by telephone or video, should also be clarified in advance. In situations that carry urgency (for example, if little time remains before a notification period expires), stating this in the appointment request may help to bring the meeting forward. You can convey your appointment request by reaching the İzmir Avukatım team on the line 0553 595 67 82 and briefly summarise your situation.

In the meetings held at our office in Konak/İzmir, our aim is to help the client clarify the current situation with the documents in hand and to see the next step in concrete terms. The first meeting to be held with Av. Aydın offers a realistic framework as to what path the file will follow.